A man appears before the Pearly Gates
“Have you ever done anything of particular merit?”"
Tag Archive: anything
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A blonde bird goes into a lost persons and…
A blonde bird goes into a lost persons and ask’s if she can find out where her mum is so the man say’s “I dont know it’ll be hard”"
“”oh i’ll do anything”" she replies so the man thinks
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Corpsalicious!
One day a medical professor and his class were standing over a corpse and the
professor said, ”There are two things to being a medical forensics�. First:
Don’t fear anything.”
After saying that, the professor shoved his middle finger up the corpse’s anus
and licked it. He then told the class to do the same.
After hesitating, they all did it.
”Next,” the professor said, ”you have to have a key observation finger.
Thus, I licked my index finger.”
Permanent link to this article: http://www.jokemania.co.za/corpsalicious-3/
Compulsive worrier
Tom had been a compulsive worrier for years until he found a way to overcome
this problem. his friends noticed the dramatic change.
“what happened?” asked doug. “you don’t seem to be worried about anything
anymore.”
“i hired a professional worrier for $1000 a week.” tom replied. “i haven’t had
a single qualm since.”
“a thousand a week!” said doug. “how the hell are you going to pay him?”
“i don’t care. that’s his f****** problem.”
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Tom Jones Syndrome
A woman walks into the doctor’s and says, “Doctor I can’t stop singing these two songs, is there anything wrong with me?”
The doctor says, “What songs are they?”
“‘Delilah’ and ‘The Green Green Grass Of Home,’” the woman says.
The Doctor says, “You have the Tom Jones Syndrome.”
“Is that rare?” asks the woman.
The Doctor replies, “It’s Not Unusual!”
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Yisman
Permanent link to this article: http://www.jokemania.co.za/tom-jones-syndrome/
Paint
A commuter from New Jersey drives through the Lincoln Tunnel and into Times Square.
At a red light, he is approached by a prostitute, who says, “Listen, honey, it’s been a slow night. I’ll do anything you want for a hundred dollars, as long as you can tell me in three words.”
“Okay,” he replies. “Paint my house.”
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman
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Wedding Vows for women
You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and eventually will be used against you.
You have the right to an attourny, if you cannot affod one, you`ve been married before.
You may now kiss the bride…..s ass.
Permanent link to this article: http://www.jokemania.co.za/wedding-vows-for-women/