sorry this really isnt ablonde joke but these are the only jokes people read and this is a hilarious joke.
One day this teacher was teaching about GOD. She asked Tommy to come and answer a few question in front of the class. Tommy said sure.
The teacher asked, “Can you see the chair?”"
Tommy replied
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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?
Five. Two to get a chair, one to get drinks, one to get a radio, and
another to call daddy for help.
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What king of ghost sits in a cloth chair?
An upolster-geist.
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A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. But, to his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was, and greeted him warmly.
Then St. Peter and one of his assistants took the lawyer by the hands and guided him up to the front of the line, and into a comfortable chair by his desk.
The lawyer said, “I don’t mind all this attention, but what makes me so special?”
St. Peter replied, “Well, I’ve added up all the hours for which you billed your clients, and by my calculation you must be about 193 years old!”
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A man went to the dentist to get his teeth checked. While he was sitting in the chair being examined, the dentist said to him, “Have you done oral sex lately?”
The man replied, “Why yes, I did this morning actually. How could you tell? Did you find a pubic hair stuck in my tooth?”
The dentist says, “No, not quite. You’ve got some shit on the end of your nose!”
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How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to hold the chair, one to screw it in and one to write the
liability insurance.
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A priest settled into a chair in a lawyer’s office. “Is it true,” said the Priest, “that your firm does not charge members of the clergy?” “I’m afraid you’re misinformed,” stated the lawyer, “People in your profession can look forward to a reward in the next world, but we lawyers have to take ours in this one.”
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One Saturday afternoon, a man was sitting in his lawn chair drinking beer and watching his wife mow the lawn.
A neighbor lady was so outraged at this, she came over and shouted at the man, “You should be hung!”
To which he calmly replied, “I am. That’s why she cuts the grass!”
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There were three guys, a Torontonian, an American and a Newfoundlander. They were all going to be executed.
The executioner said that since all three were to be executed that ight that they would each get to choose the method by which they would die. The choices were: lethal injection, electric chair or by hanging.
The American was afraid of needles and didn’t want to be hanged so he chose the electric chair. He sat in the chair and when they pulled the switch and nothing happened. The executioner said that if this happened a second time that he could go free. They tried a second time and again nothing happened so they set him free.
The Torontonian was also afraid of needles and didn’t want to be hanged so he too chose the electric chair. Once again, the chair didn’t work and he was free.
Next it was the Newfies turn. He said, “I’m afraid of needles and the electric chair won’t work so I pick hanging.”
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A huge guy marries a tiny girl, and at the wedding, one of his friends says to him, “How the hell do the two of you have sex?”The big guy says, “I just sit there, naked, on a chair, she sits on top, and I bob her up and down.”His friend says, “You know, that don’t sound too bad.”The big guy says, “Well, it’s kind of like jerking off, only I got somebody to talk to.”
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