Minnie is sitting in the chair and the Judge asks Mickey
“So…U say minnie is crazy?”
Mickey replies “No, I said shes fucking Goofy!”
Tag Archive: chair
Disney Court
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I can’t remember
Q. What is your brother-in-law’s name?
A. Borofkin.
Q. What’s his first name?
A. I can’t remember.
Q. He’s been your brother-in-law for years, and you can’t remember his first
name?
A. No. I tell you I’m too excited. (Rising from the witness chair and
pointing to Mr. Borofkin.) Nathan, for God’s sake, tell them your first name!
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Q: How many Republican
Q: How many Republican Presidential candidates from 1988 did it take to change a lightbulb?A: (Kemp) It’s morning in America! Why should we worry about light bulbs? Let those doom-crying Democrats worry about light bulbs! [stumble over chair in the dark].
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Hilary meets God
Co-president’s Hillary and Bill Clinton and Al Gore were in a car accident and died. They went to the gates of heaven where they appeared before God. God sat on his thrown, and told them that they must each step forward, one at a time, and give their name and what they accomplished in life to deserve to be permitted into heaven.
Al Gore approached God and said “My name is Al Gore, and I was the Vice President of the United States of America.”
God replied, “Well, that is very impressive, come on in.”
Then Bill Clinton approached God and said, “My name is Bill Clinton, and I was the President of the United States of America.”
God Replied, “That is even more impressive, come on in.”
Then Hillary approached God and demanded, “My name is Hillary Rodham Clinton, and what are you doing in MY chair??
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Blond gettting a haircut
A blond was rollerblading with her headphones on. she stopped in the hair salon and asked for a hair cut. she instructed that the hair stylist could not take off the headphones.
the stylist replied “no” so the blond left. she went to a different hair salon and said the same thing. the stylist replied “ok”.
after a while, the blond fell asleep in the chair. the stylist took off the headphones and the blonde died on the spot. confused at what happened, the stylist put on the headphones. they were saying, “breath in, breath out”
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4 Blondes
How do you get 4 blondes to sit on 1 chair ? Turn the chair upside down
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Split Personality
Patient: Doctor, I have a split personality.
Psychiatrist: Nurse, bring in another chair!
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President Clinton and Saddam
President Clinton visits Saddam Hussein to talk about the UNSCOM inspections
in Iraq. As he sits down he sees three buttons in the armrest of Saddam’s chair.
When Saddam sits down, Clinton immediately asks, “Why the three buttons in the
armrest?” “You’ll see,” says Saddam. After 10 minutes, Saddam presses the first
button and WHACK, a boxing glove hits Clinton in the face. Clinton grabs his
nose while Saddam just laughs. Clinton manages to remain calm until, after
another 10 minutes, Saddam presses the second button, and another boxing glove
hits Clinton in the stomach. While Clinton’s gasping for air, Saddam falls out
of his chair from laughing. Clinton is highly annoyed by now, but remains
outwardly calm. After another 5 minutes, Saddam presses the third button, and
from under the table another boxing glove hits Clinton, this time right in the
crotch. Clinton is really fed up by it now and breaks off the talks. “We’ll
continue this next week in the White House,” says the President. Saddam has
tears in his eyes from laughing, and can only nod in agreement.
As agreed, Clinton receives Saddam in the Oval office a week later, and as
Saddam sits down, he sees three buttons in the armrest of Clinton’s chair. As
the meeting goes on, Saddam sees Clinton press the first button and immediately
ducks, but nothing happens. This doesn’t stop Clinton from laughing … really
loud. Clinton continues where he left off, and after a few minutes presses the
second button. Saddam again reacts instinctively, and this time it’s Clinton who
falls out of his chair laughing. Saddam is totally bewildered, and wonders what
the hell is happening. But no harm has come to him, so he retakes his seat and
the talks continue.
After a few more minutes, Clinton presses the third button. This time, Saddam
doesn’t even flinch, but stays in his chair as though nothing unusual is taking
place. Clinton, however, is rolling on the floor, doubled over from laughter.
Saddam is not only bewildered-now he is angry. He springs to his feet and
shouts, “I’ve had enough of this, and I�m going back to Baghdad!” Through tears
of laughter, Clinton says, “Baghdad? … … What Baghdad????
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How can you tell Doc?
A man went to the dentist to get his teeth checked.
While he was sitting in the chair being examined, the dentist said to him, “Have you done oral sex lately?”
The man replied, “Why yes, I did this morning actually. How could you tell? Have you found a pubic hair stuck in my tooth?”
The dentist says, “No, not quite. You’ve got some shit on the end of your nose!”
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