Tag Archive: dad

Uncle Ted

One day at the end of class little Johnny’s teacher has the class go home
and think of a story and then conclude the moral of that story. The
following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their
story, little Suzy raises her hand.

“My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck
and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well

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Nude beach

Two parents take their 6 year old son to a nude beach. Upon arrival the parents tell their son to go play. After about 10 minutes of the sons playing, he returns to his mother and asks her why all the other women have a bigger rack then her. She simply replys that the bigger the package the dumber the person. The boy runs off to go play again and returns after another 10 minutes and asks his mother why the other men have a bigger member then his dad. The mother again replys the bigger the package the dumber the person. The boy runs off and returns in five minutes and excitedly tells his mother, “MOM

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Little Deeper

There once was a little boy named Little Deeper. He was in the 3rd grade and his dad was the principal of his school. One day, he used this to the best of his advantage,…on his teacher.
He walked up to her desk, told her to take her clothes off.She said “no”".He said

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A small boy uneducated

One day, there was this small boy who was uneducated. His parents were fighting and this is what they said.

“You’re a bitch!”" said the father to his wife.
“”You’re a bustard!”"sard the mother to her husband.
“”Mom Dad

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Whats that???

there was a little kid and she wanted to take a shower with her mom and her mom said es when they were in the shower the little girl looked up and said “mommy whats that?”" and her mom said “” thats my garden”" the next day the little girl wanted to take a shower with her dad and he said ok when they were in the shower the littlegirl looked up and asked “”daddy whats that?”" and her dad said “”thats my snake”" that night she got scared and slept with her mom and dad during the night she woke up and said “”MOMMY

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18 Kids in the Family

Two gentlemen were discussing the prospects of “looming” retirement. While one guy had lots of hobbies. The other fellow had no hobbies, and was rather concerned about being set loose with nothing to do.
The first guy suggested his friend go visit his kids. The man said, “Well, I only have two kids, but I could buy a motor home and go visit my brothers and sisters, that would take about a year.”

The first guy looked a bit puzzled, so his friend said, “I’m one of eighteen kids in my family.”

The first fellow’s eyes got rather large, contemplating eighteen children, so the man volunteered to explain.

“The problem was, my mother was hard of hearing.” With a big grin he added, “My mom and dad would go to bed at night, and my dad would ask, ‘Do you want to go to sleep, or what?’ and my mom would say, ‘What?’”

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Dear Son…

Dear SonI am writing this slow cause I know you can’t read fast.We don’t live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happened within 20 miles of home, so we moved. I won’t be able to send you the address cause the last family that lived here took the numbers with then to there next house so they wont have to change there address, I wish the I have thought of that.This place has a small washing machine. the first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain and haven’t seen them since.It only rained twice this week- three days the first time and four days the second.The coat you wanted me to send you; your aunt sue said it was too heavy to send it by mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. Don’t tell anyone.We got a bill from the funeral home, said if we didn’t make the last payment on Grandma’s funeral bill; up she comes. Luck we have a spare bedroom in the new place. We can move her when you come to visit.About your father- he has a lovely new job. He has over 500 people under him; he is cutting grass at the cemetery.Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven’t found out if it was a boy or a girl, so I don’t know if you are a aunt or an uncle.Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. One was driving two was in the back bed. The driver got out- he rolled down the window and swam to safety. The other two drowned; they couldn’t get the tailgate down.Your uncle Mike fell in the whiskey vat at work. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off and drowned. He wanted to be cremated, burned for three days.

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Kindergardner first homework assigment

this kid in kindergarden his teacher told him to write down 4 words his mother was talking on the phone and she said shut up so he writes that down then his sister said i think im in love he writes that his little bro tv show goes da da batman he writes that his dad said my buns are on fire his teacher said what words did you write shut up what did you say ooh i think im in love who do you think you are da da batman go to the principals office my buns are on fire

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Jr

there was a little kid named jr and he hurd is sisther say bicth and he asked is sisther what does bicth mean and his sisther said it means a old lady and then he hurd is dad say shit and he asked hid dad what does shit mean and he said food and then he hurdd hid mom say fuck and he asked hid mom wat does fuck mean and she said when your changing your close so his grandma came to hid house and he esaid come in bicth there is shit on thee table and my parrnts are fucking up stars

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