When asked to sign a document a doctor pulled
a rectal thermometer out of his pocket, “damn!”"
Tag Archive: document
Pen problem
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How many IBM types does it take to change…
How many IBM types does it take to change a light bulb?
100. Ten to do it, and 90 to write document number GC7500439-0001,
Multitasking Incandescent Source System Facility, of which 10% of
the pages state only “This page intentionally left
blank”, and 20%
of the definitions are of the form “A …… consists of
sequences
of non-blank characters separated by blanks”.
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Bierman’s Laws of Contracts:
Bierman’s Laws of Contracts: (1) In any given document, you can’t cover all the “what if’s”. (2) Lawyers stay in business resolving all the unresolved “what if’s”. (3) Every resolved “what if” creates two unresolved “what if’s”.
Permanent link to this article: http://www.jokemania.co.za/biermans-laws-of-contracts/
Etch-A-Sketch
A little more clutter for your inbox…Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has a distorted display. What should I do?A: Pick it up and shake it.Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has these funny little lines all over the screen. How can I get rid of them?A: Pick it up and shake it.Q: How do I force an application to quit on my Etch-A-Sketch?A: Pick it up and shake it.Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off?A: Pick it up and shake it. Set it down.Q: How do I delete a document from my Etch-A-Sketch?A: Pick it up and shake it.Q: How do I prevent data loss on my Etch-A-Sketch?A: Stop shaking it.
Permanent link to this article: http://www.jokemania.co.za/etch-a-sketch-2/
Y2K Problem Solved
The Office of Institutional Computing has defined a lower cost alternative for Desktop conversions that also addresses the Year 2000 issue: The goal is to remove all computers from the desktop by Jan, 1999.
Instead, everyone will be provided with an Etch-A-Sketch. There are many sound reasons for doing this: Y2K problems No technical glitches, keeping work from being done. No more wasted time reading and writing emails. Substantial hardware cost savings.
Frequently Asked Questions from the Etch-A-Sketch Help Desk:
My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny little lines all over the screen. What do I do?
Pick it up and shake it
How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off?
Pick it up and shake it
What’s the short cut for Undo?
Pick it up and shake it
How do I create a New Document window?
Pick it up and shake it
How do I set the background and foreground to the same colour?
Pick it up and shake it
What is the proper procedure for rebooting my Etch-A-Sketch?
Pick it up and shake it
How do I delete a document on my Etch-A-Sketch?
Pick it up and shake it
How do I save my Etch-A-Sketch document?
Don’t shake it.
Permanent link to this article: http://www.jokemania.co.za/y2k-problem-solved/
Solution to the Y2K problem
The government’s system administration team, working with computer manufacturers and experts in the computer industry, has found a lower cost alternative to address the Y2K (Year 2000) issue: The goal is to remove all computers from the desktop by December 31, 1999. In exchange for taking every computer, an Etch-A-Sketch will be issued to all Americans. There are many reasons for doing this:1. No Y2K problems.2. No technical glitches keeping working from being done.3. No more wasted time reading and writing E-Mails.Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) from the Etch-A-Sketch Help Desk:Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has funny lines all over the screen. What do I do?A: Pick it up and shake it.Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off?A: Pick it up and shake it.Q: What’s the shortcut for Undo?A: Pick it up and shake it.Q: How do I create a new document?A: Pick it up and shake it.Q: How do I set the background and foreground to the same color?A: Pick it up and shake it.Q: What is the proper procedure for re-booting my Etch-A-Sketch ?A: Pick it up and shake it.Q: How do I delete a document on my Etch-A-Sketch ?A: Pick it up and shake it.Q: How do I save my Etch-A-Sketch Document ?A: Don’t shake it.
Permanent link to this article: http://www.jokemania.co.za/solution-to-the-y2k-problem/