Their were three blondes on an island, not to far away from the other side, but far enough not able to swim across.
One of the blondes goes up to a lamp on the sand and rubs the lamp. The genie comes out and says, “I will give you each one wish.”"
One of the blondes walks up and says
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Golf Genie
A husband and wife, out enjoying a round of golf, were about to tee off on
the third hole, which was lined with beautiful homes. The wife hit her
shot and the ball began to slice – her shot was headed directly at a very
large plate glass window. Much to her surprise, the ball smashed through
the window and shattered it into a million pieces. They felt compelled to
see what damage was done and drove off to see what happened. When they
peeked inside the house, they found no one there. The husband called out
and no one answered. Upon further investigation, they saw a small
gentleman sitting on the couch with a turban on his head. The wife asked
the man, “Do you live here?”" “”No
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One day three men named Jimmy, Mike, and Sam found a genie in a bottle and the genie will grant everyone 1 wish if they yell what they want as you jump off a cliff. The first man, Jimmy, yells “I want a billion dollars!”". He jumps off the cliff and lands in a billion dollars. The next man
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A blond, brunette, and red-head were all stranded on an island. Suddenly one day a genie appeared and said that all three had one wish. The red-head wished to go home. The brunette wished to go home too. Finally the blond was all alone next to make her wish. The blond started to cry and said “I wish my two friends were back here with me!”
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There were three Blondes on a tiny Island. They all wanted to get off the Island but none of them knew how. So one day a genie came along and granted each one a wish.
The first one wished to become intelligent enough to get off the Island. So the genie turned her into a redhead and she swam off.
The next one said: “That’s cool, I want to get more intelligent than her. “The genie turned her into a Brunette and she built a boat and sailed off.
The third Blonde was really impressed and wanted to become even more intelligent. So the genie turned her into a man, who used the bridge.
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A man walks into a bar and he sees a guy with a foot long liter. he asks “the man where did he get it?” the guy “replies there is a lamp by the lake rub it and the genie in it will grant you one wish.” So the man runs to the lake finds the lamp rubs it and asks for a million bucks when he gets home there is a million ducks. He goes back to the bar and told the guy what happened. The guy replies” You think I asked for a footlong bic?”
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A guy is golfing with his pretty wife, who is a very poor golfer. On the first hole she sends the ball smashing through the window of a nearby house.
The couple goes to the house to investigate the damage and finds the door open. They go inside and found a man sitting on a couch next to the broken window. There is also a broken oil-lamp.
The husband asks: “Did we break that too?”
“Yes”, replies the man.
“Sorry. Do you live here?” the husband asks.
“No, actually, I’m a genie.” The man states. “I was sleeping in that lamp when your golf ball smashed it. Now, I’m supposed to give you three wishes, but I’m keeping one for myself since you smashed my lamp. OK, what’ll they be?”
The husband thinks a moment: “First, make my wife a better golfer.”
“Poof! She’s a better golfer”, the genie announces.
“Second, I want a million bucks a week for life.”
“Poof! you get a million bucks a week”, the genie announces.
“Good. OK, what do you want?” asks the husband.
“For my wish. I want to have my way with your pretty wife,” grins the genie.
“Hmmm”, the husband hesitated, “I guess that’s all right. After all, she broke your lamp, you’ve made us rich, and our golf games will be much more interesting. Go ahead.”
So the genie and the wife retire the bedroom. After several steamy hours the “genie” says to the wife: “How long have you known your husband?”
“Ten years,” she replies.
“How long has he believed in this genie stuff?”
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A couple was golfing one day on a very, very exclusive golf course, lined with million dollar houses. On the third tee the husband said, “Honey be very careful when you drive the ball-don’t knock out any windows. It’ll cost us a fortune to fix.”
The wife teed up and shanked it right through the window of the biggest house on the course. The husband cringed and said, “I told you to watch out for the houses! Alright let’s go up there, apologize, and see how much that’s going to cost.”
They walked up, knocked on the door, and heard a voice say, “Come on in.” They opened the door and saw glass all over the floor and a broken bottle lying on its side on the foyer. A man on the couch said, “Are you the people that broke the window?”
“Uh yeah. Sorry about that,” the husband replied.
“No, actually I want to thank you. I’m a genie that was trapped for a thousand years in that bottle. You’ve released me. I’m allowed to grant three wishes – I’ll give you each one wish, and I’ll keep the last one for myself.”
“OK great!” the husband said. “I want a million dollars a year for the rest of my life.” No problem – it’s the least I could do.
And you, what do you want?” the genie said, looking at the wife.
“I want a house in every country of the world,” she said.
“Consider it done.” the genie replied.
“And what’s your wish genie?”, the husband said.
“Well, since I have been trapped in that bottle, I havn’t had sex with a woman in a thousand years. My wish is to sleep with your wife.”
The husband looks at the wife and said, “Well we did get a lot of money and all those houses, honey. I guess I don’t care.”
The genie took the wife upstairs, and ravished her for two hours.
After it was over, the genie rolled over, looked at the wife and said, “How old is your husband, anyway?”
“35.” she replied.
“And he still believes in genies??? That’s amazing!”
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A man was sitting alone in his office one night when a genie popped up out of his ashtray and said, “And what will your third wish be?”
The man looked at the genie and said, “Huh? How can I be getting a third wish when I haven’t had a first or second wish yet?”
“You have had two wishes already,” the genie said, “but your second wish was for me to put everything back the way it was before you made your first wish. Thus, you remember nothing, because everything is the way it was before you made any wishes. You have one wish left.”
“Okay,” said the man, “I don’t believe this, but what the heck. I wish I were irresistible to women.”
“Funny,” said the genie as it granted his wish and disappeared forever. “That was your first wish, too.”
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