Their were three blondes on an island, not to far away from the other side, but far enough not able to swim across.
One of the blondes goes up to a lamp on the sand and rubs the lamp. The genie comes out and says, “I will give you each one wish.”"
One of the blondes walks up and says
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There is a blonde, a brenete, and a red head stranded on an island. There is twenty miles back to shore. The red head says “I’m going to go for it!!”" She swam 5 miles and drounds. The brenete goes and gets 10 miles and drounds. The blonde goes 19 miles
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A population control program had been introduced to the island, but the doctors were having trouble getting the women to take their birth control pills. They decided, therefore, to concentrate on teaching the men to wear condoms.One of the men who came in had had eight children in eight years, and the doctor told him that he absolutely had to wear a sheath. He explained that as long as he wore it his woman could not have another baby. About a month later, the wife came in and she was pregnant. The doctor got very angry. He called the man in and gave him a long lecture through an interpreter. He asked the man why he hadn’t worn the sheath.The interpreter said, “He swears he did wear it. He never took it off.”The doctor shook his head. “In that case, ask him how in the heck his wife is pregnant again?”"He says,” said the interpreter, “that after six days he had to pee so badly that he cut the end off.”
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A blond, brunette, and red-head were all stranded on an island. Suddenly one day a genie appeared and said that all three had one wish. The red-head wished to go home. The brunette wished to go home too. Finally the blond was all alone next to make her wish. The blond started to cry and said “I wish my two friends were back here with me!”
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an englishman an irishman and a scotish man were trapped on a dessert island the scotish man found a magic lamp and rubbed it a gennie came out to grant them 3 wishes the scotishman wish t go to his local pub poof he went ,the englishman wish t go to his local pub poof he went then the irish man said i miss my new friends i wish they were back poof they apeared back each with a pint in there hands
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There were once 3 blondes on an island, but they couldn’t find a way off. But while searching, one of them tripped over what happened to be a magic lamp. Dusting it off, the genie came out.
“I will grant you each a wish,” he said.
“Why not,” thought the blondes. “It’s worth a try.”
“I want to be the world’s best swimmer” one said, “so can swim off of the island”. She then jumped in to the ocean and swam away.
“I want to be a bird” one said, and flew away immediately.
The 3rd, and last one thought for a while. “I want to be a man. Maybe that would help.” She was instantly transformed into a man, then walked across the bridge to the mainland, where she joined her two friends.
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A blonde was stranded on a desert island so she swims half way back to the main land gets tired so she turns around and swims back.
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Y2K Ballad
(sing to the tune of ”Gilligan’s Island”)
Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale
Of the doom that is our fate.
That started when programmers used
Two digits for a date
Two digits for a date
RAM memory was smaller then;
Hard drives were tiny, too.
”Four digits are extravagant,
So let’s get by with two.
So let’s get by with two.”
”This works through 1999,”
The programmers did say.
”Unless we write new code by then
The data goes away.
The data goes away.”
But management had not a clue;
”It works fine now, you bet!
Rewriting code cost money,
We won’t do it just yet.
We won’t do it just yet.”
Now when 2000 rolls around
It all goes straight to hell,
For zero less then ninety-nine,
As anyone can tell.
As anyone can tell.
The mail won’t bring your pension check;
It won’t be sent to you
When you’re no longer sixty-eight
But minus thirty-two.
But minus thirty-two.
The problems we’re about to face
Are frightening, for sure.
And reading every line of code’s
The only certain cure.
The only certain cure.
[[ key change, the big finish coming]]
There’s not much time, there’s too much code,
And COBOL-coders, few.
When the century is finished,
We may be finished, too.
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A blonde, a brunette and a readhead are stuck on an island. For year and years they live there, one day they find a magic lamp.
They rub and rub and sure enough out comes a geenie.
The geenie says “since I can only give out 3 wishes, you may each have one”
So the brunette goes first, “I have been stuck here for years, I miss my family and my husband and my life– I just want to go home” and POOF she is gone.
The the red head makes her wish “This place sucks, I want to go home too” and poof she is gone.
The blonde starts crying uncontrollably. The geenie says to her ” my dear what is the matter, “I wish my friends were here”
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231. Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 911:
Blonde: We need help. We’re three blondes changing a light bulb.
Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb? Blonde: Yes.
Operator: The power in the house in on? Blonde: Of course.
Operator: And the switch is on? Blonde: Yes, yes.
Operator: And the bulb still won’t light up? Blonde: No, it’s working fine.
Operator: Then what’s the problem? Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around and we all fell and hurt ourselves.
232. What about the blonde who gave birth to twins? Her husband is out looking for the other man.
233. There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, “I’m going to try to swim to shore.” So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned. The second one, the redhead, said to herself, “I wonder if she made it. I guess it’s better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve.” So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned. So the blonde thought to herself, “I wonder if they made it! I think I’d better try to make it, too.” So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, 15 miles, NINETEEN miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, “I’m too tired to go on!” So she swam back.
234. This blonde and her boyfriend were sitting in a hot tub when the blonde said to her boyfriend, “Is it true that if you pull you finger out, I’ll sink?”
235. Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said “Oh, look at the deer tracks.” The other blonde looks and says “Those aren’t deer tracks, those are wolf tracks.” “No. Those are deer tracks.” They keep arguing, and arguing, and one half hour later they were both killed by a train.
236. The blonde came running downstairs, crying. Her mother asked what was wrong and the blonde said her boyfriend had just dropped her. Her mother (a blonde) nodded wisely and proceeded to tell her about the birds and the bees and the blonde said: “No ma. I can fuck and suck with the best of them. But he says I can’t cook”
237. A dumb Blonde died and went to Heaven. When she got to the Pearly Gates, she met Saint Peter who said, “Before you get to come into Heaven, you have to pass a test.” “Oh No!” she said but Saint Peter said not to worry he’d make it easy. “Who was God’s son?” said Saint Peter. The dumb Blonde thought for a few minutes and said “Andy!” “That’s interesting… What made you say that?” said Saint Peter. Then She started to sing “Andy walks with me! Andy talks with me! Andy tells me…”
238. Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger.
Blonde#1: I can’t seem to get this door unlocked!
Blonde#2: Well, you’d better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain and the top is down!
239. Did you hear about the blonde that went to library and checked out a book called “How to Hug”? Got back to the dorm and found out it was volume seven of the encyclopaedia…
240. A blonde’s response to the comment, “THINK about it!”: “I don’t have to think — I’m blonde!”
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