A man was waiting in a long line for the man’s restroom when he saw that the lady’s room was about empty so he asked her if he could use it. She said, “You may. Just as long as u do not push any buttons.”" He agreed and ran in the door and in the stall. He thought to himself “” wow that’s a lot of buttons”" So he said oh i’ll just push this orange one… and then water splashed on his butt. He thought “”maybe another”" so he pressed the green one… which threw powder in his face. Then he pressed a red button that had the letters “”ATR”"
When he awoke he was laying in a hospital room. He turned to a lady and said
Tag Archive: Men
Men in a woman’s room!
Permanent link to this article: http://www.jokemania.co.za/men-in-a-womans-room/
What this One Blonde Did…
I know this blonde that’s so dumb…
She thinks Boyz2Men is a daycare center,
She thinks a quarterback is a refund,
She tripped over the cordless phone on when it was on the reciver,
She missed bus 44, so she took bus 22 twice,
She got stabbed at a shoot-out,
She spent 20 minutes looking at an orange juice box because it said concentrate,
She called me to get my phone number,
She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make-up her mind,
She told me to meet me and the corner of “WALK”" and “”DON’T WALK
Permanent link to this article: http://www.jokemania.co.za/what-this-one-blonde-did/
If Men got pregnant!
1. Maternity leave would last two years….with full pay.
2. There would be a cure for stretch marks.
3. Natural childbirth would become obsolete.
4. Morning sickness would rank as the nation’s #1 health problem.
5. All methods of birth control would be 100% effective.
6. Children would be kept in the hospital until toilet trained.
7. Men would be eager to talk about commitment.
8. They wouldn’t think twins were so cute.
9. Sons would have to be home from dates by 10:00 PM.
10. Briefcases would be used as diaper bags.
11. Paternity suits would be a fashion line of clothes.
12. They’d stay in bed during the entire pregnancy.
13. Restaurants would include ice cream and pickles as main entree’s.
14. Women would rule the world.
Permanent link to this article: http://www.jokemania.co.za/if-men-got-pregnant-3/
Men and trust.
Men — are you sure you can trust something that bleeds for seven days and
still lives?
Permanent link to this article: http://www.jokemania.co.za/men-and-trust/
Education for women
Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully. Dancing: Why Men Don’t Like To. Classic Clothing: Wearing Outfits You Already Have.
Permanent link to this article: http://www.jokemania.co.za/education-for-women-4/
Boyz-2-Men
Q: Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men??
A: He thought it was a delivery service.
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The World’s Shortest Books
The World’s Shortest Books
25. “My Plan To Find The Real Killers” by O.J. Simpson
24. “To All The Men I’ve Loved Before” by Ellen DeGeneres
23. “The Book of Virtues” by Bill Clinton
22. The Difference between Reality and Dilbert
21. Human Rights Advances in China
20. “Things I Wouldn’t Do for Money” by Dennis Rodman
19. Al Gore: The Wild Years
18. Amelia Earhart’s Guide to the Pacific Ocean
17. America’s Most Popular Lawyers
16. Career Opportunities for Liberal Arts Majors
15. Detroit – A Travel Guide
14. Different Ways to Spell “Bob”
13. Dr. Kevorkian’s Collection of Motivational Speeches
12. Easy UNIX
11. Ethiopian Tips on World Dominance
10. Everything Men Know About Women
9. Everything Women Know About Men
8. French Hospitality
7. George Foreman’s Big Book of Baby Names
6. “How to Sustain a Musical Career” by Art Garfunkel
5. Mike Tyson’s Guide to Dating Etiquette
4. Spotted Owl Recipes by the EPA
3. Staple Your Way to Success
2. The Amish Phone Directory
1. The Engineer’s Guide to Fashion
Permanent link to this article: http://www.jokemania.co.za/the-worlds-shortest-books-3/
Men
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money, they don’t generate much interest.
Permanent link to this article: http://www.jokemania.co.za/men-4/
Men vs. Women on Aging
Two old guys were sitting in the park, talking, when the subject turned to getting older. The first guy said, “Women have all the luck when it comes to getting older.”"What do you mean?” asked the second guy.”Well,” replied the first. “I can barely remember the last time I was able to get it up in bed, but my wife is healthier than ever!”"Healthier? How is that?” his buddy wondered.”Years ago, when we were younger, almost every night before bed she’d get these terrible headaches.” He answered. “Now that we’re older, she hasn’t had a headache in years.”
Permanent link to this article: http://www.jokemania.co.za/men-vs-women-on-aging/
What Men Realy Mean
“I’m going fishing.”
Really means…”I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid,
and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish
swim by in complete safety.”
“It’s a guy thing.”
Really means….”There is no rational thought pattern connected
with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.”
“Can I help with dinner?”
Really means….”Why isn’t it already on the table?”
“Uh huh,” “Sure, honey,” or “Yes, dear.”
Really means….Absolutely nothing. It’s a conditioned response.
“It would take too long to explain.”
Really means…”I have no idea how it works.
“We’re going to be late.”
Really means….”Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a
maniac.”
“I was listening to you. It’s just that I have things on my
mind.”
Really means….”I was wondering if that red-head over there is
wearing a bra.”
“Take a break, honey, you’re working too hard.”
Really means….”I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.”
“That’s interesting, dear.”
Really means….”Are you still talking?”
“It’s a really good movie.”
Really means….”It’s got guns, knives, fast cars, and beautiful
women.”
“That’s women’s work.”
Really means….”It’s difficult, dirty, and thankless.”
“You know how bad my memory is.”
Really means…. “I remember the theme song to ‘F Troop’, the
address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle
Identification Numbers of every car I’ve ever owned, but I
forgot your birthday.”
“I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses.”
Really means…. “The girl selling them on the corner was a real
babe.”
“Oh, don’t fuss. I just cut myself, it’s no big deal.”
Really means…. “I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed
to death before I admit I’m hurt.”
“Hey, I’ve got my reasons for what I’m doing.”
Really means…. “And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon.”
“I can’t find it.”
Really means…. “It didn’t fall into my outstretched hands, so
I’m completely clueless.”
“What did I do this time?”
Really means…. “What did you catch me at?”
“I heard you.”
Really means…. “I haven’t the foggiest clue what you just
said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough
so that you don’t spend the next 3 days yelling at me.”
“You know I could never love anyone else.”
Really means…. “I am used to the way you yell at me, and
realize it could be worse.”
“You look terrific.”
Really means…. “Oh, God, please don’t try on one more outfit.
I’m starving.”
“I’m not lost. I know exactly where we are.”
Really means…. “No one will ever see us alive again.”
“We share the housework.”
Really means…. “I make the messes, she cleans them up.”
Permanent link to this article: http://www.jokemania.co.za/what-men-realy-mean/