A man appears before the Pearly Gates
“Have you ever done anything of particular merit?”"
Tag Archive: Pearly
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The name of your wife
St. Peter is questioning three married couples to see if they qualify for admittance to heaven.”Why do you deserve to pass the Pearly Gates?” he asks one of the men, who had been a butler.”I was a good father,” he answers.”Yes, but you were a drunk all your life. In fact, you were so bad you even married a woman named Sherry. No admittance.”St. Peter then turned to the next man, a carpenter, and asked him the same question.The carpenter replied that he had worked hard and taken good care of his family.But St. Peter also rejected him, pointing out that he had been an impossible glutton, so much so that he married a woman named BonBon.At this point the third man, who had been a lawyer, stood up and said, “Come on, Penny, let�s get out of here.”
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ARRIVING AT THE PEARLY GATES
Following a distinguished legal career, a man arrived at the Gates of Heaven,
accompanied by the Pope, who had the misfortune to expire on the same day. The
Pope was greeted first by St. Peter, who escorted him to his quarters. The room
was somewhat shabby and small, similar to that found in a low grade Motel 6 type
establishment.
The lawyer was then taken to his room, which was a palatial suite including a
private swimming pool, a garden, and a terrace overlooking the Gates. The
attorney was somewhat taken aback and told St. Peter, “I’m really quite
surprised at these rooms, seeing as how the Pope was given such small
accommodations.”
St. Peter replied, “We have over a hundred Popes here, and
we’re really very bored with them. We’ve never had a lawyer.”
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Why bother:
There were three couples, one of Jewish faith, one of Catholic faith and one of Protestant faith. The entire group was returning, by plane,from an inter-faith conference when their plain crashed. Well, low and behold, each couple found themselves at the Pearly gates facing St. Peter.
St. Peter asked the Jewish man,”Sir is it true you loved money so much that you married a women named ‘Penny’?'”
And when the Jewish man answered yes, he and his wife named Penny where told to go on down to hell. They’d be better suited there.
They next couple to come before St. Peter was the Catholic couple. St Peter said,” Is it true, sir, that you love alcohol so much that you married a woman named Sherry? And when the Catholic man had answered yes, St. Peter told him to go on down to hell. He and his drink-loving wife would be better suited down there.
Well about this time, the Protestant man grabbed his wife’s hand and said,” Come on, Fanny, it ‘s no need for us to even go up there.
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Heavenly estate
The Pope and a lawyer find themselves together before the Pearly Gates. After a small quantum of time which was spent discussing their respective professions, ol’ St. Peter shows up to usher them to their new Heavenly station. After passing out wings, harps, halos and such, St. Pete decides to show them to their new lodgings. Only a brief flight from the welcome, Pete brings them down on the front lawn (cloud-encrusted, natch) of a huge palatial estate with all sorts of lavish trappings. This, Pete announces, is where the lawyer will be spending eternity, (at least until the end of time..) “Hot Dang”, the Pope says to His-self, “If he’s getting a place like this, I can hardly wait to see my digs!”. They take flight once again, and as Pete leads on, the landscape below begins to appear more and more mundane until they finally land on a street lined with Brownstone houses. Pete indicates the third walkup on the left as the Popes new domicile and turns to leave, wishing the pontiff his best. The Pope, in a mild state of astonishment, cries out “Hey Pete! What’s the deal here? You put that lawyer-feller in a beautiful estate home and I, spiritual leader of terra-firma, end up with this dive?” Pete looks at the pontiff amusedly and replys: “Look here old fellow, this street is practically encrusted with spiritual leaders from many times and religions. We’re putting you here with them so you guys can get your dogma together. That other guy gets an estate, because he’s the first (non-)damned lawyer to make it up here!!”
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