When asked to sign a document a doctor pulled
a rectal thermometer out of his pocket, “damn!”"
Tag Archive: Pen
Pen problem
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Proctologist at the bank
One day there was a proctologist who went to the bank. He pulled out his paycheck and started to sign it. The teller came over the intercom and says, “Excuse me sir, but you’re signing that with a thermometer.” He replies, “Damn, some asshole has my pen!”
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Absentminded Doc!
A doctor is going about his business, with a rectal thermometer tucked behind his ear.
He goes into a staff meeting to discuss the days activities, when a co-worker asks why he has a thermometer behind his ear?
In a wild motion he grabs for the thermometer, looks at it and exclaims, – “Damn, some asshole has my pen!”
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Playpen
Mary was almost crazy with her three kids. She complained to her best friend, “They’re driving me nuts.
Such pests, they give me no rest and I’m half-way to the nut hatch.”
“What you need is a playpen to separate the kids from yourself,” her friend said. So Mary bought a playpen. A few days later, her friend called to ask how things were going.
“Superb! I can’t believe it,” Mary said. “I get in that pen with a good book and the kids don’t bother me one bit!”
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
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This would DEFINETLY be a bad day!
how can you tell if a blonde is having a bad day?
if her tampon is behind her ear and she cant find her pen!
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Ways to confuse a roommate
These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.153. Go through your roommate’s textbooks with a red pen, changing things and making random corrections. If your roommate protests, tell him/her that you just couldn’t take it anymore.
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The Deacon and the Preacher
There once was this deacon and this preacher, and they had been real good
friends for a long time. Well one day the deacon got sick and was put in the
hospital, so the preacher decided to go and see his old friend. When he walked
into the hospital room, the preacher noticed all the hoses and stuff they had
going into the deacon. The preacher walked over and kneeled by the bed and
asked, ”How ya doing?” The deacon motioned at a pad and pen on the nightstand.
”You want that?” the preacher asked him, and the deacon nodded his head yes.
So the preacher handed his friend the pad and pen and the deacon began to write.
All of a sudden the deacon died. At his funeral, the preacher was asked to
deliver the service. ”He was a good man and I’ll never forget him,” the
preacher said, ”I was with him when he died and as a matter of fact I have his
last thought in my coat pocket here.” The preacher reaches into his pocket and
pulls out the paper. ”Please, get up! You’re kneeling on my oxygen hose!”
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Play Pens
Mary Simpson was almost crazy with her three kids. She complained to her best friend, “They’re driving me nuts. Such pests, they give me no rest and I’m half-way to the nut hatch.”
“What you need is a playpen to separate the kids from yourself,” her friend said.
So Mary bought a playpen. A few days later, her friend called to ask how things were going.
“Superb! I can’t believe it,” Mary said. “I get in that pen with a good book and the kids don’t bother me one bit!”
By the way – Mary is blonde.
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