Tag Archive: pocket

The Frog

A boy was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said,
“If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.”

He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up

again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful Princess,

I will stay with you for one week.”

The boy took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the

pocket. The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a

Princess, I’ll stay with you and do *anything* you want.”

Again the boy took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Finally the frog asked, “What is it? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful Princess,

that I’ll stay with you for a week and do *anything* you want. Why won’t

you kiss me?”

The boy said, “Look, I’m a computer programmer. I don’t have time for

girlfriends, but a talking frog is really cool.”

Permanent link to this article: http://www.jokemania.co.za/the-frog/

Ready to Go Home

There was a guy in a bar and he asked the bartender for a beer. He chugged it, looked into his pocket, asked for another beer. Which he chugged, then looked into his pocket, and asked for another beer. This went on for a while then the bartender finally asked, ‘How come you ask for a beer, chug it, then look in your pocket?’ The man said, ‘because there is a picture of my wife in my pocket and I’m gonna keep drinking till she looks good enough to go home.’

Permanent link to this article: http://www.jokemania.co.za/ready-to-go-home/

Skinny mamma

yo mamma so skinny that when they put a dime in her left pocket she leaned to the left.

Permanent link to this article: http://www.jokemania.co.za/skinny-mamma/

Never put all your eggs

Never put all your eggs in your pocket.

Permanent link to this article: http://www.jokemania.co.za/never-put-all-your-eggs/

Airport Jokes

What did Mohammed say to Sahid just before they got on the plane? “Is that a bomb in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”

Permanent link to this article: http://www.jokemania.co.za/airport-jokes/

The difference between a Republican and a Democrat

A Republican and a Democrat were walking down the street when they came to a homeless person. The Republican gave the homeless person his business card and told him to come to his business for a job. He then took twenty dollars out of his pocket and gave it to the homeless person.

The Democrat was very impressed, and when they came to another homeless person, he decided to help. He walked over to the homeless person and gave him directions to the welfare office. He then reached into the Republican’s pocket and gave the homeless person fifty dollars.

Now you understand the difference between Republicans and Democrats.

Permanent link to this article: http://www.jokemania.co.za/the-difference-between-a-republican-and-a-democrat/

YOU KNOW NO ONE LOVES YOU IF…

- The pet cat got better food than you did.
– Your parents told you about strange men giving away sweets and to go and
find as many of them as possible.
– You play “hide & seek” with your Mother and she hides in another town.
– Your parents take you to an orphanage and tell you to mingle.
– Your parents told you about the magic money box in the cupboard where you
can hide your pocket money, and – you’ve since found out it was the coin-op
electric meter.
– You had to share your sandbox with the cat.
– You always got your weekly allowance in Traveler’s Checks.
– Your folks threw a “going-into-the-Army” party when you were only three
years old.
– You run away, and the family can’t give the Police an accurate description.
– You kept getting left beside the monkey enclosure at the zoo.
– You were always stood-up at the Father-Son banquet held at the local
Church.
– Kidnappers send back a piece of your ear and your parents demand more
proof before they pay any ransom.
– When you were born, your Father gave out old cigar butts.
– Your parents encourage you to fish in shark infested waters.
– As a baby, your Father threw you in the air and walked away.
– You find out your Mother is nursing another baby on the side.
– Your tub toys included a toaster shaped like a rubber duck.

Permanent link to this article: http://www.jokemania.co.za/you-know-no-one-loves-you-if/

God-awful Pickup Line

Is there a mirror in your pocket? Because I can definitely see myself in your
pants tonight.

Permanent link to this article: http://www.jokemania.co.za/god-awful-pickup-line/

The Scott’s Pocket Watch

These two Scottish characters are chatting. One of them then pulls out an
expensive looking pocket watch from his pocket to check the time.
“That’s a fine watch you got there!” says the other.
“Yeah it is, isn’t it? I got it from my grandfather,” says the guy with the
watch.
“Really?”
“Yeah, he sold it to me on his death bed.”

Permanent link to this article: http://www.jokemania.co.za/the-scotts-pocket-watch/

On the airline.

A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the window. A few minutes later, a big, heavy, strong, mean-looking, hulking guy plops down in the seat next to him and immediately falls asleep.

The little guy starts to feel a little airsick, but he’s afraid to wake the big guy up to ask if he can move aside to let him go to the bathroom. He knows he can’t climb over him, and so the little guy is sitting there, looking at the big guy, trying to decide what to do.

Suddenly, the plane hits an air pocket and an uncontrollable wave of nausea passes through the little guy. He can’t hold it in any longer and hurls all over the big guy’s chest.

About five minutes later the big guy wakes up, looks down, and sees the vomit all over him.

“So,” says the little guy, “are you feeling any better now?”

Permanent link to this article: http://www.jokemania.co.za/on-the-airline/

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