Tag Archive: redneck

The Idiot

There were three guys stuck on an island, the first guy was a African, the second was a German, and the third one was a redneck.

While swimming at the beach the African found a magical lamp and rubbed it. A jenie came out and told them three that he would grant them all one wish.

The African went first and wished to go back to Africa with his family. Then the German went second and wished to go back to germany with his family. Finally it was the rednecks turn so the jenie asked him ,” What is your wish.”" The redneck paused and started looking around and said

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Red neck

Your a redneck if sailors have to tell your grandma to watch her mouth.

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Redneck quickies 35

You might be a redneck if…

You don’t know what a redneck is.

You’re still upset that they canceled “The Dukes of Hazzard”.

You thought ER was ET’s cousin.

You think a strip joint is where they disassemble cars.

You are in 6 grade and the only one in your family that can write your name.

You’ve ever been stuck in your own driveway.

You refer to your dog as the dishwasher.

Your car is made out of 17 others and each part is a different color.

You repair your car in the autoparts store parking lot.

You can name all the characters from the “Dukes of Hazzard”.

You recite lines from “The Dukes of Hazzard”.

You keep track of all the belt holders in all the wrestling leagues.

You got married in the family car, in a drive-thru chapel.

You search your computer monitor for the dial that changes channels.

Your idea of a fancy dessert is “moon pie ala mode”.

You just bought your family their lst Atari game system.

You and your wife celebrate your anniversay at the K-mart cafeteria.

You think the only tools “real men” need are duck tape and caulk, and you have sucessful repair projects to prove it.

You’ve tried to quote Jeff Foxworthy and screwed it up.

You name your car the General Lee.

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Redneck quickies 38

You might be a redneck if…You think “Country & Western” covers both types of music. You’ve ever used a hangnail as a tooth pick. You can chew your own toenails.You’ve ever used an inner-tube patch on your jeans. You want the opening day of deer hunting season to be declared a national holiday.Someone knocks on your front door and your back door rattles. You let goldenrod grow in your yard because it looks so pretty. You’ve ever absent-mindedly nibbled on your live bait . . . and didn’t spit it out.Your best Sunday clothes include your John Deere baseball cap. You go to a wedding or any formal party and ask someone to pull your finger.Your friend tells you he went online last night, and you think he took a drunk driving test.Your mama has more tattoos than you do. You think the ATM machine is a giant, public calculator. Your favorite cologne smells like exhaust. You think its okay to have your 6 year old babysit your 5, 4, and 3 year old.Your dog’s shots are up to date but your children’s aren’t. You use the water in your toilet to bob for apples. Your whole family sleeps in the same bed. You consider your annual bath one too many. You wore a baseball cap to the opera.

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Walks to school

If your daddy walks you to school because you�re both in the same grade, you
might be a redneck!

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You’re a redneck … the biggest fashion risk

You’re a redneck if…. The biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid
you’ll wear to the 4-H Fair.

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Wedding

if your father walkes your mother down the ils on your weddind day. you might be a redneck

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You’re a redneck … your hairdo has ever

You’re a redneck if…. A ceiling fan has ever ruined your hairdo.

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True Redneck

You know youre a true redneck when your house starts rolling down hill.

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You might be a redneck if your daddy…

You might be a redneck if your daddy walked you to school and you are both in
the same grade.

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